


Alcor's house of unimaginable spooks, terrors, and frights.

by Chacw



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chacw/pseuds/Chacw
Summary: Happy Ficathon! The prompt I chose was "Alcor visits a haunted house and is absolutely unimpressed with the attractions. he thinks he can do it better." From the amazing ToothpasteCanyon.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Transcendence AU Ficathon 2019





	Alcor's house of unimaginable spooks, terrors, and frights.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ToothPasteCanyon (DannyFenton123)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DannyFenton123/gifts).



“Well that was a waste of time.”

Dipper held up a gothic umbrella as he floated behind Michael. It was 2am on November first and it was absolutely pouring down. 

Micheal with a skip in his step walked ahead of Dipper and called back over his shoulder. “You’re kidding right? That was Amazing! Those zombie prosthetics were amazingly done. And the fake blood. It even smelled like blood.”

Dipper scowled and said. “Get under the umbrella you’re going to catch a cold.”

Micheal did a 180 and started walking backwards so he could look at Dipper. “I’m fine,” (he was soaked) “Besides, you’re trying to change the subject. What was so bad about the haunted house? Because from where I see it, it definitely earned its title of best haunted house in the country.”

“It was so boring, all the spooks were predictable.”

“Says the ancient spook master.”

“Yes. I know scary better than anyone.”

Micheal raised an eyebrow and after a moment of silence simple said. “Dork.”

Stumbling over his words Dipper said. “You spent four hours in the rain for a ten minute haunted house. You’re actually happy with it?”

“Completely, it was a good break knowing the spooksters weren’t trying to kill me for once. Pick up your pace, I’m going to miss the bus.”

“I can literally teleport you home.” Dipper said crossing his arms, his umbrella floating next to him keeping him completely dry.

“And what would it cost?” Micheal said turning back around and picking up his pace.

“A strand of hair.”

“What are you going to do? Eat it? That’s gross, besides we're almost at the bus stop.”

Speeding up Dipper held his umbrella over Micheal’s head.

“You do know you’re not physically right now right? Not only is the rain unable to hit you but your umbrella is ineffective.”

Dipper started to stutter before being interrupted by Micheal. With a smile Micheal said. “Dork.”

The bus pulled up and Micheal sat in a smug sillence for the ride home.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Micheal opened his front door and immediately had a face full of feathers and fur. Stumbling slightly he caught himself on the door frame before reaching up to pull the miniature griffin off his face. “Morning Oinkers, why are you awake?” Glancing at the clock on the wall he saw that it was almost 4am.

Putting Oinkers down in her bed Micheal turned towards Dipper. “Night Al, I’ll give you two mini snickers if you can have some tea ready for when I wake up.”

“Deal” Alcor said snapping his fingers creating blue sparks..

Micheal hung his wet clothes in the shower and using a towel dried off before getting into his pajamas.

He woke up at about eight when he got hit in the face by a wing. Pulling the wing down so he could look around he found Dipper curled up like a cat next to his head. Letting out a sigh he pulled on the wing gentle and Dipper stiffened up like a plank.

“Morning Dip, can you go make tea?’

“Morning Michael, do you want anything else with the tea?”

“If you have time could you make some pancakes?”

Dipper silently floated out of the room shooting cringy finger guns back at Michael.

After another 40 minutes Micheal silently stumbled out of his room and into the kitchen. He sat down at the table in front of the massive stack of pancakes. Written in edible glitter on the top was, “That haunted house sucked.” Glares were shot at towards the couch where Alcor was lounging watching Saturday morning cartoons.

In silence he chugged balk half his tea and started on his pancakes. After finishing his food he cleaned his dishes and walked over to the couch. Lying down he rested his head on Dipper’s lap. Dipper looked down and Micheal chose that moment to start speaking, “You're being petty, are you seriously not over the haunted house?”

“I just, for the time you spent waiting for it I was expecting a bit more.”

“I already told you, I enjoyed it.”

“But I!” He was interrupted by Micheal. “If you are seriously this unimpressed why don’t you make your own? How about you spend the next year planning it out, if you can finalize the design by next Halloween I’m sure we can come to deal to build it.”

Dipper grinned widely before disappearing. Micheal’s head dropped to the couch and smiling he said. “I guess I got my answer.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next year Alocr was absolutely obsessed with designing his haunted house. Micheal quickly got used to coming home from work to find rough blueprints and plans covering the dining table.

Even when they were out cult bashing Dipper would spitball ideas towards Micheal. Nearly getting them caught on multiple occasions.

He would spend almost an hour cleaning up Dipper’s plans whenever he wanted to bring friends over.

No matter how frustrating the constant piles of papers were he couldn’t get upset. When ever he looked over to see Dipper working on the house he always had an impossibly large grin on his face and if he was having fun that made it worthwhile for Micheal. 

  
  


Soon it was October first and Micheal woke up with a startle. He opened his eyes and saw teeth. Out of pure reflex he threw his knee up and heard a grunt. Sleepilly he looked up at what he hit and noticed that he hit Alcor in the gut.

“Sorry Al but don’t do that.”

“No,” he paused to fake a dramatic grunt of pain, “Problem, I was just so excited to tell you I have finalized my haunted house plans.”

“Can it wait till after breakfast?” 

“Sure, are you making breakfast?”

Rolling his eyes Micheal sat up and began to walk out of the bedroom. “Fine but I’m in the mood for fench toast so that's what your having.”

Micheal enter the kitchen to see Dipper already sitting at the table.

Micheal got to work while whistling different theme songs to children's shows.

“Ok let me give a quick explanation to my idea.” Dipper said as Micheal poured the milk in.

Micheal raised his hand and shushed Dipper. “I said after breakfast.”

Dipper pouted but did stay quiet.

Micheal dropped a plate of french toast in front of Dipper before sitting across from him with his own plate.

Dipper looked over at Micheal’s plate and saw it was technicoloured. He looked back down at his boring plane coloured pieces.

Watching Dipper's eyes flutter back and forth Micheal couldn't help but smile. “Flip your pieces over Dippy.”

Dipper stabbed his fork into his pieces and carefully flopped them over. A large smile crossed his face as he saw the neon dies Micheal used. “Ok as I was saying..” Dipper began to speak.

“Nope, I said after breakfast.” Micheal said interrupting DIpper. Dipper aimed exaggerated puppy dog eyes towards Micheal. They were highly ineffective. Micheal simple continued to eat his breakfast. 

Micheal quietly finished his plate and chugged back the last of his tea before looking up at Dipper. With a large smile he said. “Now, tell me everything.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took Michael 2 weeks to convince city hall to let him rent a clearing in the nearby woods. The same night Micheal found himself drawing a summoning circle for Alcor. Taking a step back Alcor came up behind Micheal and looked over his handiwork. “You’re getting good at this Mickey.”

“Remind me again why we need the summoning circle?”

“Because even if you’re not paying a large price this is going to take enough magic that we need to do this formally.”

Micheal shrugged slightly. A large grin crossed his face as he said “Good enough for me. Let’s get the show started.” He pulled a pocket knife out of his back pocket a cut his thumb open. He ozed blood onto the circle and silently Alcor appeared in front of him.

“Here's the deal Alcor. In exchange for four pounds of assorted candy and continued living privileges in my house you create your haunted house here. The profits from the haunted house will go towards living necessities for the house you will be living in.”

Alcor paused before saying. “I should really teach you proper summoning etiquette, but that’s more than sufficient for this. You have a deal.”

They shook hands and a large blue fire began to spread across the ground. Micheal stepped back and out of the growing blue circle.

He watched in amazement as a building slowly began to rise up from the ground. The clearing was flooded in blue light from the fire. Slowly as the building finished rising from the ground the blue fire dimmed and went out.

Micheal looked up at the building in front of him. From the outside it looked like an old wooden shack almost on the verge of falling down. Up on the side of the roof facing her was a large wooden sign that read. “MYSTERY HACK” The S that was supposed to have it spell shack fell and was resting on the roof.

“So what do you think?”

“It looks like a bad tourist trap, but from what you told me that's what it’s supposed to look like.”

“Yup, isn’t it great? You wanna see the inside?”

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.” Micheal said almost bouncing up and down in excitement.

They entered the front door and Micheal looked around in disappointment. All he saw was poorly made fake mythical creatures. He slowly continued to walk through the building the smile he once had was now replaced with a frown of disappointment. He approached the exit and looked back to see Alcor practically exploding with glea. He didn’t know if he should be disappointed or if Dipper didn’t tell him everything. 

He opened the door to the exit and quickly realized Alcor didn’t give the full details.

The woods they were in were different. What were spare short trees were replaced with large tightly packed redwoods. He looked up and the dim night sky, the light pollution of the city was replaced with a perfect view of the stars. Just as Alcor floated out of the door it slammed shut behind them and the ground began to shake.

Decaying green hands began to pop out of the ground and quickly Micheal realized he was surrounded by zombies. Instinct kicked in and he kicked a zombies head off and ran away around the side of the building. He found a golf cart with its keys in it and hopped in. 

Looking around he noticed the trees were too densely packed to drive through. There was only one path leading away from the building.

He knew he was being funneled towards something. But he was also certain it couldn't be worse than the growing horde of zombies behind him. He turned the key and speed down the star light path.

As he sped down the road he started hearing thumping. Glancing behind him he saw a giant chasing after him.

“Oh shit!” he exclaimed as he dropped the pedal to the floor. 

It was gaining on him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

He watched as the giant threw something towards the cart in the rear view mirror. Something flew over his shoulder and landed on the hood. Glancing at it he was shocked to see a gnome hissing at him. He punched it in the face and it fell off.

He swerved to the side as the giant, now identified as a gnome tribe threw another gnome towards him.

He could dodge the gnomes, but they were still gaining on him. He waited for the gnomes to be right on his bumper and as they prepared to lunge he slammed on the brakes. 

It threw him over the hood and onto the dirt path but it also slammed the kart into the gnome tribe practically making them blow up.

Without looking he continued running down the path and found himself on the outskirts of a small town. Just as he exited the forest he saw the sky rip open. An oil slick scar of madness formed across the night sky and creatures began flooding out. Slowly a massive and twisted version of Alcor came crawling out of the tear.

Its laugh made him cringe.

He ducked behind a nearby building thinking about what he must do. He knew nothing here would actually hurt him but every muscle in his well trained body told him otherwise.

Looking back around the corner he saw a blinding beam of light come up from where the town square most likely was. It was the obvious place to go, but he had no idea how he was going to get there.

Letting out a sigh he started putting the experience he got from years of sneaking up on cults to work.

He began to slink his way between buildings dodging monsters ripped from his nightmares.

He quickly found that the only thing between him and the pillar of light was the seemingly empty town square. Looking around carefully, he decided it was safe to go and began sprinting towards the light. He heard the distinctive howl of hellhounds from behind him when he hit the halfway point. He began to run faster. He was feet away from the light spire when a hellhound landed on his back, dropping him to the ground. It grabbed his ankle and began to drag him into the ground.

Just as he lost vision of the town square he found himself floating in an empty black void. 

He felt his feet hit something and he suddenly had something to stand on. Turning around he saw a door labeled as exit. Opening it he found himself outside again.

He was back to the clearing where he made the deal. The trees were back to normal and the sky had its dim glow of light pollution.

Sitting on a stool just outside the exit was Alcor. Turning towards Micheal he said. “So what do you think?”

Micheal collapsed onto the ground panting. “That, that was amazing.”

“Perfect. Oh, I called someone else to come check it out.”

As he finished speaking a new car pulled up and out stepped a formally dressed lady.

“Eh Mary! You made it!” Dipper said joyfully.

Scowling the newcomer said. “Of course I’d come, you wrote it in blood on my bedside mirror.”

“It’s the little details,” ALcor said. “Mary, meet Mathew.”

“Yo.” Mathew said still lying on the ground. He stuck an arm into the air and waved towards Mary.

Mary walked over and stood over Micheal looking down on him. “So how did you meet him?”

“He appeared after my 3rd birthday party and said he was my brother and asked if I wanted to go have some fun. He sort of stuck around since then.”

“Oh so you’re the current Mizar.”

“Sadly. Correct me if I’m wrong,” Micheal began speaking. “Aren't you that famous news anchor?”

“Yup.”

“Let me guess, someone tried to sick Aldork overthere onto you out of jealousy for your career and instead he took a liking to you?”

“Yeah, he did mention some BS about recognizing my soul, but that sums it up pretty well. How di you guess that?” She asked crossing her arms.

“You’d be surprised about the amount of cults I have busted who were summoning scary powerful demons for revenge. That’s beside the point, do you want to try the haunted house out?”

“That's what I’m here for.”

“Cool,” Micheal said still panting, “The door’s over there. Feel free to go explore. The haunted house only takes about ten minutes so I’ll be here when you’re done. Have fun.”

Mary looked up at the building before saying. “This is a fucking tourist trap, not a haunted house.”

“Yup. go, I need to catch my breath.”

Shaking her head Mary entered the door.

Exactly ten minutes later Mary walked out of the exit.

She sat down in the grass next to Micheal and started to catch her breath.

“So?” Alcor said floating overhead.

“That was terrifying. You said ten minutes? I spent almost an hour dodging those zombies. The gnomes got me in the end.”

“It’s been exactly ten minutes since you entered. So, do you think you could give us a shout out on the morning news tomorrow?”

“You have definitely earned that. Give me the details and I’ll do it.

“Yo Al, pass me a pen and paper.” Micheal said sitting up.

Using his thigh as a surface to write on he quickly scribbled out a note for Mary.

Mary stood up and walked away. She sat in her car for almost half an hour before driving away.

Micheal sighed. “Dipper. Here’s a hair. Teleport me back to my bed.”

“Sure thing Micheal.”

Micheal was exhausted. It took him less than ten minutes to fall asleep.

The news of the haunted house spread like wildfire the next day. By the time Micheal got to it in the evening to open it up a crowd of at least 200 had formed around the building.

Holding up a megaphone MIcheal said. “If people can start organizing into groups no larger than five I can begin to let people in.” 

As people organized themselves Micheal worked his way up to the door. He unlocked it and let the first group in. As he collected the entrance fee he told them. “Once you’re in you won't be able to exit through the front door. Please use the back door when you want to exit.”

Holding the megaphone up again he said to the crowd. “Another group can enter in exact ten minutes. Please be patient.”

MIcheal was working that door from 9pm to 3am. By the time he finally closed down the building the crowd hadn’t shrunk at all.

“I’m sorry but that’s it for tonight. We will be open every night up until Halloween's over.

Once again he found himself using Dipper to teleport to his bed. He woke up the next morning and called his boss.

After a lengthy explanation of why he will be missing two weeks worth of work his boss allowed him to use his vacation hours for this.

That night the crowd was even larger. Letting out a sigh he walked up to the front door and found Mary there.

“You here to help out?” he asked.

“Yup, but I want a cut of the money and for you to convince your dork to stop putting ominous messages in my pasta.”

“Deal. Can you work the door till midnight? I’ll take over from there.”

“Sure thing, also go grab an energy drink or something, you look exhausted.”

The night went as planned. Tiredly Micheal poofed into bed.

The nights leading up to Halloween quickly became more and more hectic.

As word continued to spread of how amazing the haunted house was the crowds began to grow at an alarming rate.

Halloween night came and there had to be at least 20,000 lined up going down the road. Mary and him let out a collective sigh and got to work.

As the sun began to rise they locked the front door. When the last group of terrified people stumbled out complementing them on their magic work. Micheal told Alcor a simple message. “It’s over. Light it up.”

When the crowd began to leave the house burst into blue flames and Alcor’s demonic laughter rang out throughout the clearing and down the path leading up to it. When the flames died out it was as if the Mystery Shack was never there. All that was there was a sign that read. “See Y’all Next Year!”

Micheal and Mary poofed into existence above Micheal’s couch. They shared a brief grin but both of them were so tired that without realizing it they both quickly fell asleep.

As they slept peacefully Alcor began to plan for next year.


End file.
